i need to get a new tripod so bad, i’m dying to take self portraits but taking them without a tripod is a bitch if there ever is such a thing. 

this weekend i am putting my film camera in my purse and taking it with me everywhere.

photos please, photos please.

maybe i can even get a photo of me and mah boy because we have like 1 good picture together and I don’t really understand why and it needs to change.

today i found out that there is a possibility of me being a dance teacher next year at the studio I go to.

like i said, i see a lot of doors opening up.

too bad i don’t know what i want to do except i want to run away for a little bit and yet that looks like it’s just going to keep happening later and later.

i’m anxious. 

i can’t decide lately if i want to try to go to school for dance/art

i don’t want to be in debt to college forever though and i don’t know how far any of it would get me

i wish following your passions was really as easy as it should be

i think i see a lot of doors starting to open back up for me.

now i really just need to focus on getting through high school. i swear i can do it. 

i am so arachnophobic it is scary. 

ugh ugh ugh.

spider season is upon us. 

My boyfriend is finally home and it doesn’t really feel real like when he’s not next to me he’s still in hawaii and when he is next to me he never left in the first place. 

i have a lot of things to do that i am always avoiding and you know I don’t even really feel that bad avoiding them because I just generally don’t give a shit anymore/kinda want to see what will happen if I continue avoiding them. 

you know?

things i want but do not have:

-Iphone

-hair perm

-vodka

going to the dentist

going to get holes drilled in my teeth while i gaze longingly at leonardo decaprio in Romeo and Juliet.

not such a horrible thing.

tonight:
finishing my painting

tomorrow:
do laundry
dentist
dance
psych HW

later:
Grad requirements  

this weekend:

grad requirements
tennessee video files
too much dance 

lately life has been good to me.

I started drawing/painting again and I went hiking 8 miles today round trip and sat on top of a giant mountain smoking hookah to stare at an entire row of beautiful fucking mountains and just oh, don’t get me started on Mt. Rainer these days because it has been calling my name for months now! 

I’m so excited for summer, and I’m so excited to be trying to get back into the swing of doing things i love with people who i love.